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Well, I have now been in the beautiful city of San Antonio for 3 full days–and at this point, I had hoped to have lots of gorgeous pics to share with you.  However, I am locked in my hotel for most of the day attending conference sessions–and, unfortunately for you inquiring minds, Macy’s is adjacent to the hotel…

…and, well–I think you all know what that means.  In my 3 days here I have yet to visit the Alamo (though I have passed right by it twice), nor have I ventured into the San Fernando Cathedral; and nope, no visits to the art district or the botanical garden or Las Villatas.  I have, however, conquered the hell out of Macy’s, Auntie Ann’s, the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, Joe’s Crab Shack and Victoria’s Secret.  Disappointed?  A little.

The Riverwalk is magnificent!  And I dare say that I adore this city.  Which, given my distaste for all things Texan–I think that speaks volumes.  I have attended what seemed to be a never-ending lecture by Producer Ken Burns and I will be attending a keynote luncheon featuring Lance Armstrong.  For that, I’m super-excited!  And plans are in the works to go to the WNBA playoff game tomorrow night to watch the San Antonio Stars play the Detroit Shock.  And yes…I know it’s just the WNBA, but I happen to love sports and how often does a chance like this honestly come around?  Besides–at the last game, Tim Duncan and other members of the San Antonio Spurs were attending…so that alone is worth the ticket price. 

I’m here until Sunday, so surely in the next few days I can get some of those typical tourist things accomplished.  When all is said and done though…I really miss being home with Jeremy.  Love is a powerful thing.  It can take you back in time and make you one of those annoying love-sick teenager types.  Ick! 

So, boo hiss…apparently I offended some people by posting about UCA’s loss to Tulsa.  That’s to be expected.  Those of you who know me, know that not only am I open to discussion…I encourage it.  I enjoy a good debate and I welcome those with differing opinions to discuss their reasons with me.  In fact…I have been known to change my opinion after seeing someone else’s side of the argument.  However–posting rude comments on my blog and calling me names (which…mind you…were spelled incorrectly) is not the way to make me back off or admit to any wrong doing.  So…allow me to clarify.

No, I didn’t see that game in particular.  However–before you assume that I know nothing of the circumstances or the sport…please take a moment and consider the possibility that you are not the only one to follow football.  And if you’re going to call me an “ass clown,” please–for the love of GOD–at least spell it correctly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Seriously people!  Perhaps if you spent a little more time in the classroom and a little less time bitching on someone’s blog, you would learn how to spell. 

Let me make this clear.  I am not defending myself…because I have no reason to.  I stand behind the comments I made–and no, they weren’t ignorant statements.  I do, have and always will support a team’s decision to “run up the score.”  Because while it may be deemed “poor sportsmanship,” or “low-class,” it’s still the right of that team.  If your team doesn’t like it, God knows they have the chance to stop it.  Keeping starters in or putting starters back in the game is nothing new.  While it may be frowned upon, I firmly believe that a team should NOT pull their punches just because they are ahead by a large margin.  And yes, I would still be saying this if it had been my favorite team that was on the losing end–which has been the case numerous times.  As I said yesterday…life is not fair.  It doesn’t always give you a chance to catch your breath before something else comes your way.  Why should sports be any different?  Why should a good team be forced to back off by some unwritten moral code…lest they be scorned and ridiculed?  If that’s not something you can deal with as either a fan, player or coach…then perhaps you should reconsider your choice to participate.

And let’s talk about class.  Having class would have meant taking the loss and shutting the hell up about it; practice next week and come out prepared to win on Saturday.  Having class does not mean making implications about the values of your opponent’s program.

And quite frankly…I’m finished discussing this unless someone can leave an intelligent, well-written, correctly-spelled comment.  Should you care to discuss further, please feel free to do so in an adult manner.  And just to clarify a few more things…

1.  This is MY blog that I spend MY time posting to.  I do not get paid for this, so the topics I discuss are of an interest to me.  You, as the reader, have the option to a) not read, or b) engage me in intelligent conversation (which is the purpose of blogging).

2.  While I encourage all feedback, I will not tolerate name-calling…especially when you resort to such childish names as “ass clown.”  I’m an adult and my blog has adult content; therefore, if you act like a child, I will ignore you completely.  I have some VERY intelligent, interesting readers that I appreciate a great deal.  If name-calling is your method of discussion…clearly, you are not one of those readers.

3.  My posts are rarely–if ever–personal.  I discuss things that are interesting or relevant to my life.  I would never attack Coach Conque on a personal level.  However, when values are put on the table, your’s damn-well better be in good shape or I will point them out.  My statements about Coach Conque only pertained to the manner in which he acted about the game.  I didn’t attack him or the football team personally…so attacking me personally was not only uncalled for, but ridiculous and truly ignorant.   

So, here’s to you RJ and Painted Fan!  This post should give you plenty more to bitch about!

And for the rest of my loyal and intelligent readers, I’m at a conference this week for work in San Antonio, so I promise good pics and fun stuff coming soon

So I’m putting off packing for my trip a little while by posting something.  Tomorrow morning I leave for San Antonio and I’ll be gone until Sunday.  And no, not lucky me–it’s a work trip, not one for leisure.  That trip is in November.  Hopefully.  Jeremy just got a promotion (woo hoo!), but unfortunately, that promotion may interfere with our trip to Gulf Shores.  Because sometimes that’s what being an adult is all about–getting screwed over by our sense of responsibility.  We’ll know this week if the trip is still on for the week we planned or if changes to our vacation are necessary. 

Hey…speaking of being an adult…I just read an article about UCA’s game against Tulsa this weekend that reminded me that age is not the only criteria for being an adult. 

***WARNING***  The following contains football information, however, this is not a football story.

On Saturday, UCA was beaten by Tulsa, in a 62-34 game.  So I guess you could say that UCA got hammered.  But what was shocking to me was all the whining afterward by UCA’s coach, Clint Conque.  To quote, “They’re throwing the ball with 15 seconds left? I’m proud that our players conducted themselves with class,” Conque said. “We are going conduct our program for the growth of young people and teach values on and off the field, things that are right and what we don’t perceive to be right. I cannot speak for Tulsa’s program.”  The article read, Final Score Irks UCA Head Coach.

What irks me about this is the hypocrisy.  Coach Conque is pissed because Tulsa didn’t back off, even though they were ahead.  He even goes so far as to imply that Tulsa’s program doesn’t teach the same values as UCA’s.  But here’s the thing…football takes talent, skill, practice and nerve.  All of which UCA has exhibited in previous games.  Football is not one-sided.  Both teams have a chance to score, and both teams have a chance to defend.  It’s not Tulsa’s fault that UCA clearly couldn’t play defense.  And Tulsa shouldn’t be scrutinized for having the ability to score–much better than UCA. 

Life is not fair.  Life does not back off just because you’re having a rough time.  Life is not always an even playing field.  People are born everyday into difficult situations.  Impoverished, disabled, mentally handicapped…and the list goes on.  And for those people, the world around them doesn’t take a back seat and let them slide on through.  People are held back everyday by things beyond their control.  A poor, ignorant black person living in the ghetto will have a hard time getting a job on Wall Street.  Fair or not.  A handicapped female would have a difficult–if not impossible–time playing professional sports.  Fair or not.  The truth is, in a country where diversity is celebrated–the playing field is still not level.  There are certain opportunities that are available to you based on race, gender, socioeconomic status…that are simply not available to others outside that criteria.  So we can either teach that–and teach how to overcome that–or we can do like Coach Conque and whine about it.

“Running up the score” is nothing new in football.  Everyone criticized the New England Patriots last season when they took no mercy on their opponents.  But the thing is…they weren’t the only team in the game.  Just like Tulsa, their opponents had every chance to stop them and score touchdowns themselves.  Why wait for your opponent to pull their head out of their ass and get in the game, just to make it “more fair?”  When everyone has the same chance…it’s as fair as you can ever hope for.  Tired of getting embarrassed by your opponents’ overwhelming ability to score?  Well…figure out a way to stop them or at least improve your own offense and score a few yourself.  But for goodness sake, stop whining about it! 

While Coach Conque was on his soap box talking about teaching values to his program…I bet he failed to see the hypocrisy in his speech.  So, let me get this straight…UCA’s program teaches that it’s okay to whine and be a sore loser, but running up the score is immoral?  In my opinion, Coach Conque should teach his players that what they got was not an unfair football game…but rather, a good old-fashioned ass whooping.  And just in case he doesn’t know what that is, he should call Arkansas Razorback’s Coach Bobby Petrino to find out.  The Hogs lost to Texas on Saturday, 54-10.  And even by the end of the game, the Longhorns weren’t pulling their punches.  Not that anyone would know.  Because, afterall, Coach Bobby Petrino wasn’t on the local news whining about the shitty values of Texas’ program.  The Hogs took their ass whooping, got back on the bus and drove back to Fayetteville to practice for what should be another embarrassing loss this coming weekend.  That’s the thing about football, each week you have another chance to either redeem yourself or suffer an embarrassing loss.  But any way you look at it, it’s a fair shot for both teams in the game to win.  It’s 50/50.  I think it’s fair to say that life certainly doesn’t give everyone those same odds.

With new episodes of my favorite fall shows starting this week, I can’t help but get excited about the season change.  It’s no secret that fall is my favorite time of the year.  I love the smell of tailgate parties and the sound of helmets crashing together; but coupled with the random plastic body parts you see lying around in stores as Halloween approaches and temperatures well within soup range…it’s intoxicating

Fall has always been associated with change in my eyes.  Fall is when I moved away from my hometown to college; a move that inevitably shaped who I am today.  Fall is when I transform from a prissy girly-girl…into a t-shirt & jeans-wearing, profanity-yelling football fanatic.  Fall is when I stop hating the weather in Arkansas, and start appreciating the constant uncertainty that comes with Southern climate.  Well…most of the time.  I stay royally pissed virtually all summer and winter, but spring and fall my mood is even keel.  Last fall was a time of huge change.  The writers were on strike–which meant that my favorite tv shows weren’t on.  But perhaps a little more important than that, last fall was a time when, for the first time in almost a decade, I was suddenly single.  My divorce was tough…but I perservered. 

Last fall my future was uncertain.  Would I ever be happy again?  Would I manage to escape a divorce, identity theft, and the sadness of losing a friend unscathed?  Would I become one of those bitter divorcees who bitched about men constantly?  Would I ever have self-confidence again?  This fall I don’t have those same questions.  I’m beyond happy.  As for my divorce…best thing to ever happen to me.  Identity theft–not quite a walk in the park, but hey…it could be worse.  The memory of my friend still haunts me.  I imagine it will for a long time to come.  Truthfully, I would be concerned it if didn’t.  But his memory is no longer as sad.  I know he would be happy for me.  And as for the whole self-confidence thing…well, let’s just say that it’s getting there.  Jeremy is making sure of that.  Which I guess answers the next question.  For the record–no, I’m not bitter.  Far from it.

In a year’s time I have gone from having constant screaming matches to conversations like the one like below:

Me:  I need some Jimmy Choo’s in my life.

J:  Jimmy who?

Me:  Jimmy Choo…as in the shoe

J:  Jimmy shoe?

Me:  No!  Choo!  The shoe!

J:  You need to chew a shoe?

Me:  No!  I need some Jimmy Choo’s…you know, the shoe.

J:  Is this a Dr. Seuss rhyme?  I give up!  I don’t know who Jimmy the chew shoe-whatever is!

Yeah…life is still comical.  But in that whole, planetary alignment-is-working-for-me-rather-than-against-me kind of way.  Well, sort of.  Not that you care, but the Razorbacks were slaughtered by Alabama last weekend; and with their schedule and ability, it doesn’t look too promising for the rest of the season.  Not to mention, we’re going into the big rivalry game against Texas this weekend, who, unfortunately, will undoubtedly slaughter us again.  (Notice I say “us” like I’m actually on the team…that’s rule #1 in the land of fanatical fans.  How do I know, you ask.  Because I’m their f*cking princess!  Duh!)  However, revenge is a dish best served with french fries in this case.  Because, by-George!  I will be eating a frickin hamburger as we go down in flames.  Just for you, Texas Longhorns!

Busy is an understatement.  Yesterday, honest-to-God, I wrote a reminder on a post-it note, which read, “write out to-do list,” just before I rushed off to a meeting.  And when I returned, I didn’t have time to write out my to-do list because I was busy doing other things that I’m pretty sure wouldn’t have been on that list should I have had time to write it.  Confused yet?  To give you some kind of indication…I have no idea who won which football games last weekend.  I was working and have been too busy to research.  That speaks volumes people!

Moving on…Jeremy went for allergy tests on Tuesday.  And the terrible, horrible monster that has been causing him to have major allergic reactions is (drumroll please)……a mystery!  That’s right folks!  Modern medicine can give us gigantic breasts and tiny asses, eliminate cancer and make a 90 year old penis rock-hard, but it cannot determine our allergies.  Well that was a much-deserved copay, huh.

So my meeting yesterday was a one-on-one with idiot career services girl and her boss.  I was prepared to go to war–and even more…win.  And then I actually met idiot career services girl and realized (as did she) that she was my nemesis from a previous job.  Fan-f*cking-tastic!!!  Because the world really is that small I suppose.

My life, as of lately…in a nutshell: 

(I promise I will start posting more often )

*  NOT been watching football…damn work!

*  nursing myself back from food poisoning–I think a sweet old lady tried to kill me with deli meat.  No really, I do.

*  arguing with pageant queens that it’s pronounced “contribution,” not “contribu-ton.”  And that it’s really not okay to call a big money donor “crazy” while she is still on the phone and able to hear you.  Also, explaining to a pageant queen’s obsessed father that “your daughter is 16 years old…no, I will NOT hold her hand and take her to the bathroom.  She’s perfectly capable.”  I hate pageant queens.

*  reorganizing my living room

*  enjoying my new pink Zune that Jeremy got me

*  battling with an old nemesis from college

*  convincing people that nothing’s wrong…I’m just busy…and they’re in my work space annoying me

*  learning that chiggers do actually inhabit the suburbs.  What!?  I’m a city girl…I thought I was safe.  God do I wanna peel the skin off my feet!

*  perfecting my NCAA Football 2009 wii skills

*  finding mysterious bruises that makes me assume one of two things is the source:  1.  Jeremy is secretly beating me in my sleep or 2.  the bruises are the remains of last weekend’s beer pong tournament.  Not that I would be able to remember, regardless of which was the source

Last year, as part of my divorce, I refinanced my home to get my ex-husband’s name off the title.  During the long refinance process, I discovered that I had been the victim of identity theft.  If you’ve never gone through this–count your blessings.  It was hell!  I spent months calling the major credit reporting agencies, writing letters to the creditors to explain the situation and filing reports with the state and federal government.  During this time, I was treated like a liar, a low-life who couldn’t pay my bills and a fraud–despite the fact that I was the victim.  After months of fighting, arguing and demanding, the identity theft was finally cleared from my record.

Fast forward a year.  After two consecutive terrible days, resolution and peace was finally in sight for today.  And then I checked my mail…only to discover a letter from my mortgage company informing me that a (now) former employee of their’s had sold my information to a third party.  This information included my mortgage application, which of course, lists my name, address, social security number, driver’s license number and any other information you can imagine short of when my last period was.  The letter apologized for the inconvenience and assured me that the employee would be prosecuted to the fullest of the law.

Well, that makes it all better doesn’t it.  Because in the event that my identity is stolen again and I have to go through the whole long, painful process over, I can at least take comfort in knowing that the pig f*cker is in jail for a few months, huh.  I won’t hold my breath on that one.

So I’m having one of those nights where I’m completely exhausted and I can’t sleep because my thoughts are keeping me awake.  It sucks.  I woke up late to start what turned out to be a shitty day.  Had I have known just how bad it would be….I probably would have stayed in bed.  There are moments in our lives when we reflect on the choices we’ve made and the way we live our lives–and sometimes that reflection period reveals things that perhaps had escaped us. 

When you think about it–our lives are filled with sacrifice.  Big sacrifices, small ones.  Difficult sacrifices, easy ones.  Yet they are all necessary to maintain our lives.  I spent over 8 years with a man who made my life a living hell.  I sacrificed a cushy lifestyle, goals, friends, family, career, dreams and confidence to make him happy.  He sacrificed nothing.  And in the end…neither of us were happy–so I sacrificed my marriage for a chance at happiness.  That was a big one, but completely necessary.  I vowed to never again be in that position.  But doesn’t it factor up to be the same?  Regardless of whether you sacrifice one REALLY large thing, or many small ones…you’re still sacrificing.

In the past week, I have sacrificed speaking my mind in order to maintain work relationships.  I sacrificed money to avoid hassell.  I sacrificed “friend time” to clean house.  I put other’s needs ahead of my own.  I went out to dinner with someone when I didn’t feel like going at a restaurant I hate–and didn’t complain–just to make their day better.  I altered my schedule, changed my plans, and gave up on “me time,” all for other people.  I apologized for something I didn’t do–just to keep the peace.  I avoided chewing someone’s ass–though they desperately needed it–because I knew it would upset them.  I admitted I was wrong…when I really don’t think I was.  I sacrificed going the the Razorback game I had been looking forward to for over a month to attend a party where I was virtually ignored.  I kept quiet about my feelings on something, just to keep from fighting. 

And at the end of the week, I feel terrible.  I feel disheartened, deflated, exhausted and sad.  I vowed to never be in this place again, but I am.  It just looks a little different…but it sure feels the same.  When someone lets you walk away from them crying, you can almost bet–the only thing they’ve sacrificed…is you.

How was your Labor Day?  Mine was exhausting!  Jeremy & I accidentally hiked 4 miles.  And before you say–”What the f*ck!  How can anyone accidentally hike 4 miles?!”–please keep in mind that this is me we are talking about.  God knows that if anyone can do it, I certainly can.

 So almost every weekend, Jeremy & I reenact the vulture scene from the Jungle Book trying to figure out what we’re gonna do.  You know the one……  Well, I decided that Labor Day weekend was gonna be different.  When we got up that morning, J asked…”So what are we gonna do today?”  And instead of my usual response, “I don’t know baby, what do you wanna do?” (and so on and so forth for about 2 hours)–I decided to surprise him & teach a lesson all at the same time.  (My trickery should have been the first indication that the day would not go as planned)  I suggested a hike up on Petit Jean mountain.  Yes…me…hiking.  Hard to believe–I know.

Thanks to Gustav, the temperature was mild, but the humidity was killer–which of course, made my hair start to curl up.  Once we got there, we perused the pamphlets trying to pick which hike we would do.  J’s suggestion was one of the easy ones–since neither of us are outdoor type people.  For the record…I HATE the outdoors!  I hate all the creepy-crawly, dusty, dirty, itchy, scratchy crap that comes with the outdoors.  But, it was something to try & we had the time.  After reading through all of the trails, J picked one that was easy and I picked one that was pretty.  Skill level required for the hike was not factored into my decision.  I mean, afterall, all of the hikes I’ve been on (a grand total of 2) were nothing more than a walk through the woods on a path.  Not too bad.  And because J is genuinely a sweetheart, he let me pick the trail–with great caution about the skill level, and navigate the map (big mistake).

So after navigating us in the complete opposite direction for almost half a mile, I realized the error and we turned back in the right direction.  Oops!  :)  We were greeted at the trail entrance by this…

Undeterred by the sign, we started the hike–which began with 8 switchbacks descending over 200 feet down the side of a mountain.  And because I was “in the zone,” I did not read that the only way out once you reached the waterfall, was……BACK THE WAY YOU CAME.  Geez!  I also didn’t read that this would be a 4 mile hike.  Nor did I think to bring water with us.  Or my inhaler.  Or an epi-pen for J.  Yes…I have asthma and he has been battling with allergic reactions to an unknown cause for several weeks now.  I think it’s safe to say that we were perhaps–unprepared.  But we were troopers; and though we both wanted to collapse before we even got there, we made it to the waterfall.

It was beautiful!!!  And just about the time we sat down to cool off and enjoy the sights, J broke out head-to-toe in hives.  Yeesh!  So after no more than 5 minutes of rest, off we go–back to where we came from.  And if you think it’s difficult to keep your footing while descending over 200 feet down the mountain…you should try going up over 200 feet.  Halfway up the mountain I felt an asthma attack coming on so we stopped to rest.  Once it passed, I felt vomit coming on so we stopped to rest.  I thought we would never get to the top of the f*cking mountain!!!  Tell me again why I thought this had been a good idea?  Our romantic Labor Day getaway faded into gallons of sweat, hives, dehydration, asthma attacks, bug bites, dirt, weezing, and leg cramps.  Do I know how to plan a date or what!

By the time we got to the car, there was no mistake that the mountain had kicked both of our asses.  And the waterfall was beautiful, but next time I’ll opt for the quarter-mile walk to the overlook instead.  One thing is for sure though…I highly doubt that J will ask me what I wanna do this weekend

Okay, so I promise I’m not suddenly allergic to posting…I’ve just been really busy.  Hey–speaking of allergies–did I mention that J is currently approaching week 2 of battling an allergic reaction!?  To what…we don’t know.  Multiple laundry detergents, shampoos, and doses of Benadryl later, we still have no source.  He goes for allergy testing in September. 

Work has been Hell!!!  I know every office has their bitches, but the ones in my office are seriously wearing me down.  There’s only so much you can ask an Irish girl to take before she explodes on the psycho whores around her.  And I’m still battling with idiot career services girl.  I’ve been interviewing interns all week, each interview the same as the last.  Seriously, since when did it stop becoming necessary for people to actually have work experience prior to graduation?  I’m absolutely baffled.  Next week starts our big fall fundraiser–which means I’ll be basically working EVERY day for the next 2 weeks.  The week the fundraiser ends, I begin on-campus interviews with intern candidates at the University close to my office.  What fun!  A week full of all-day interviews with people my age calling me ma’am.  I know I shouldn’t bitch…it’s the courteous way to address a female in the south, but seriously…do I look like a ma’am.  I mean…look at my freakin’ shoes for the love of God man!!!  You know a ma’am doesn’t wear spike heels!

Anywho, the week after all the ma’aming, I’ll be flying to San Antonio for a work conference for a week.  While I’m sure I’ll really enjoy the conference, it’s the ‘leaving my home and my job with so much left to do’ parts that bother me.  On the brightside, it gives me a really good excuse to buy that pink luggage set at TJ Maxx I saw the other day :)  Oh yeah–also next week I’ll be taking on my first CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) case and just between you and me…I’m scared shitless.  Let’s hope I’m not making a mistake.

Well, I suppose I’ve done enough whining for now.  I’m off to watch Big Brother 10.  Anyone else addicted to that show?  Seriously, oh my freakin’ GOD I’m so hooked it’s unreal!!!  Oh and by the way…less than 48 hours until the Razorbacks kick off the season.  Woo……..Pig Sooie!

Is August the national “Incompetency one-upper” month?  Because if so, someone really should have sent me the memo and I would have given up on trying to accomplish anything this month long ago.  I mean seriously…how do *so* many people spend 40 hours a week at a job and still not have a rat’s ass of a clue on how to do that job!?  It’s beyond infuriating!!!

So part of my job is heading the internship program for our organization.  And by heading…I mean handling everything from helping to create the position, to interviewing, hiring, and managing each position.  And because our internship program has literally tripled in size since I’ve come on board, this is no easy task to undertake.  Complicated by the fact that this is not my only responsibility at work.  So needless to say…efficiency is of the essence to me.  Now–don’t get me wrong–I understand that not everyone works at the same pace as I do.  And I also understand that some people take longer to catch onto things than others do.  But…I have zero tolerance for incompetency!!!

Because of my job I work very closely with area colleges and Universities.  And most of the time, this works out rather nicely.  However–I cannot for the life of me fathom how a University that boasts one of the highest budgets in the state does not seem to have the budget to hire someone capable of doing what is expected of them.  The Career Services department of any college should be one of its most efficient departments.  And considering this particular Career Services department has money coming out of every crevice possible–I simply do not understand why they are having a Secretary perform the responsibilities of the Director.  I have spent the last 2 weeks doing battle with this Secretary over the credit approval of one of my internships.  And only today…after 2 weeks of asking what the problem is…did I learn from the History department that a film internship had been sent to them for credit approval.  So–I checked with the Mass Communications department, and sure enough…my History internship had been sent to them for approval.  What!!!  What!!!  What!!!  A frickin’ monkey would have known better! 

Then…when I asked idiot Career Services girl what the source of the mix-up was…she stated that she didn’t know.  Of course!!!  How could I possibly expect you to know when you were the frickin’ one who sent those internships to the wrong departments!!  I mean really!  So basically, there’s 2 weeks of my life that I’ve wasted–never to be seen again.  You know…not that I had any other work to get done.  Yeesh!

And can I just ask…when did it become appropriate to toss your *used* tampon in the top of the trash can?  And without even attempting to throw a paper towel over it so that other people didn’t have to stare at mother nature’s finest as we wash our hands.  I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised.  This is–afterall–the same woman who talks about the proper way to collect horse semen–at the lunch table!  And it is the same woman who has taken to wearing mini skirts to work because she’s lost 30-40 pounds.  Hey, I’m all about flaunting your achievements.  But wearing a mini skirt over 40 is definitely *not* fashion-forward!

Life in an office is not *nearly* as fun as it looks on tv sometimes.