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So things have been a little crazy around here the last few weeks.  Changes are brewing, big ones.  And one major change that I was keeping secret for awhile has finally been let out of the bag.  I have officially resigned from my job!  No fear…I have another one lined up!  Work has been stressful for me for at least a year now.  Couple that with unnecessary drama and it added up to a situation that I just wasn’t up to putting myself through.  I’ve been unhappy in my work for awhile…and I finally decided to do something about it.  That’s not to say anything bad about the company, many people enjoy working there.  But as I’ve discovered in the last year, a “family-friendly” work environment really only benefits those with children.  And while it’s a great thing for parents–when you don’t have kids and don’t want them, it really becomes more of a burden.

I’m excited to begin this new phase of my life.  I will have more responsibilities, but I’ll have an assistant to help me.  And right now isn’t exactly the most comforting time to be changing jobs.  But I’ll never know if I don’t try.  There are people that I will miss terribly…but most of them I see or talk to outside of work on a regular basis.  In the 2+ years I’ve worked there, I’ve made some wonderful friends…and I’ve also lost a couple.  That’s the thing about time, it exposes people for who they really are.  Give it enough time and you’ll see who you can trust and who really is there for you when you need them. 

All-in-all, I’m in a really good place in my life.  I’m leaving my current position on good terms and beginning my new position with a healthy level of fear.  I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, so I’m just hoping that at the end of the day, it will prove to be a good career move.  I guess we’ll find out on the 23rd!

I usually follow a long absence with an apology…but not this time.  This is perhaps the longest absence I’ve ever taken from blogging and there is a reason for it.  Many reasons actually.  First of all–I’ve been unbelievably busy.  Busier at this point in my life than when I was working full-time, doing a part-time internship and going to college full-time.  I mean busy folks!  Second–for the last few months I’ve felt the need to censor some of the things I wanted to post.  And when push comes to shove, doesn’t censoring yourself sort of defeat the purpose of blogging?

There are changes taking place in my life right now.  Lots of them.  I’m learning my place in the career-world, as well as, in my inner circle.  My roommate officially moved out…Jeremy officially moved in.  I’m on an advisory board of a local organization that is keeping me hopping and my various other volunteer/community service activities are leaving me with minimal free time.  Jeremy is going to school full-time and working full-time; so I’ve assumed the role of housekeeper/chef/dog caretaker/laundry-doer/errand-runner/get-stuff-done person.  And I’m not complaining…I’ve got the best of both worlds.  My new role gives me the opportunity to experience the satisfaction of being a homemaker, while experiencing the sense of accomplishment in the career world. 

But all things considered, my “me” time is significantly less than what it used to be.  So when I say that I miss blogging, I mean it…but I wouldn’t trade my life right now for all the tiramisu in Italy.  I guess the purpose of this post is to say, “stay tuned.”  I’ll be back to regular programming very soon, with lots of interesting changes and new stories to share…all true, mind you

Have I mentioned that I love state holidays?  I spent all day Monday watching a Dog Whisperermarathon on the National Geographic Channel.  Hey…don’t judge me.  I’ve got two seriously neurotic dogs!  My chocolate lab, Molly, has never met a food that she didn’t like.  No, seriously–she eats turnip greens and bananas.  Name one other dog that you’ve seen eat those things.  As a result, she’s…well…overweight.  To say the least.  Originally acquired to assist my ex with duck hunting, she was kicked out of training because she is scared of birds.  Birds people!  She’s a freakin Labrador Retriever!!!  Labs are known as great duck hunting dogs because of their ability to retrieve and love of water.  The only thing Molly will retrieve is food…and occasionally a toy.  (Not that I should be that surprised, her brother, my dad’s lab, is afraid of water). 

Molly is a force to be reckoned with.  Imagine Marley on crack with twice the phobias.  To name just a few:  fear of birds, grocery sacks, vacuum cleaners, my elliptical, bicycles, cats, trash bags, hair clips, stairs and last, but certainly not least…the grooming brush.  Break out the brush and she runs for cover.  This is a dog who ATE, yes ate, two entire legs of a coffee table as a puppy.  Several years ago when I had first moved into my house, Molly’s collar got caught on a knob of my bedroom dresser and in an effort to save herself from the monster that had captured her, she broke apart my bedroom door frame and ran down the hall with the dresser still attached and ping-ponging its way off my walls down the hallway behind her.  Sheetrock had to be patched, the door frame had to be replaced and walls had to be cleaned from her having the crap literally scared out of her.  Not a pretty sight.

And to give you an idea of her size…two summers ago I came home from work to find that Molly had crawled under my deck to seek a cool spot to lay and had gotten stuck.  Keep in mind, I have a dog door so the dogs can come and go as they please in and out of the house and fenced in backyard.  She was too large to turn herself around and too large to crawl through to the other side.  To free her, my dad had to dismantle a section of my deck–then put it back together once she was safe.  Comical yes, practical no.  And don’t even get me started on my pit bull who thinks he’s a yorkie.  Zeus has the attitude of a prissy lap dog at a whopping 85-90 lbs.  He is Jeremy’s baby and cuddle buddy.  He does not like to get his paws dirty, so we bought him shoes for when he goes outside in the rain.  He does not like mornings, so we leave the lights off in the living room and stumble around the house of a morning trying to get ready for work.  He does not like regular dry dog food, so every evening I feed them special dog food with flavors like filet mignon and lambchop.  So I guess you could say that we cater to him.

But in addition to a diva personality, Zeus still acts like a puppy.  Despite the fact that he is 4 and Molly is 5, you would think he is 1 and she is 10.  And lately the cold weather has kept us from doing much outside activity with the dogs, so Zeus has developed ways to entertain himself indoors.  This is where Cesar’s help would be greatly appreciated.  Zeus has discovered that when Molly is laying about 2-3 feet from the couch, she is a perfect springboard for him to jump on the couch without having to use much effort.  It’s a habit I’m desperately trying to break…but it’s so funny at the time that it’s difficult to discipline him for it.  I’ve learned to watch for the signs.  When he tilts his head, looks from Molly to the couch and from the couch back to Molly, then hunches low to the floor…you know it’s about to happen.  What happens next is a move straight from the Beijing Olympics.  In one swift leap he runs, launches off Molly and onto the couch, perfectly poised for a pat on the head.  Instead, he gets a thump on the nose and told to get down.  Another favored game of his is what I like to call “cow tipping.”  Zeus likes to stalk a sleeping Molly from the hallway, and just as she awakens from a nap and rises to her feet, he runs full force to broadside her, which in turn knocks her completely off her feet.  Great move for a linebacker…not for an aging dog whose breed is prone to hip and joint issues later in life. 

So go ahead…laugh at me for spending an entire day off watching The Dog Whisperer.  But you must at least acknowledge the fact that I am trying to master my domain in a home with a neurotic labrador, a diva pit bull and a boyfriend who dotes on the bad behavior of both.  Cesar I may never be, but you can’t blame a girl for trying

When you’re 25 and divorced, life can be confusing.  I’ve found this age to be the most puzzling so far in my life–well, if you don’t count the usual awkwardness and confusion that hits during puberty.  But the point is…the mid 20’s are when people are settling down and deciding which path they want to take for the rest of their adulthood.  At this age, people seem to fall into two main categories…a) happily single and staying that way, or b) married with plans in the near future to start a family.    But I don’t fall into either category–so where does that leave me?

I am happily taken, with NO plans to have children anytime soon…if ever.  Jeremy & I have been together for over a year, and it’s the best relationship I’ve ever had.  But there’s no ring, and for now, I’m fine with that.  We’ve been entertaining the idea of buying some land to build a house on in the future.  There’s no doubt that we’re in this for the long haul…but we don’t fit nicely into any one category.  And at times, it can be difficult.  My friends are all either married or have children (some are both).  His friends are not married–with the exception of one, and for the most part all single–with the exception of a couple.  So when he has a ”guy’s night,” I’m usually at home…alone, because most of my friends are busy with their families.  Which I completely understand.  

Someone at work, after finding out that I was divorced, actually said to me, “Oh, I didn’t know you are divorced.  I just thought you were like Carrie from Sex in the City…happily single.  I didn’t know you weren’t single by choice!”  Nice statement, huh!  To which I responded, “Actually, I’m divorced by choice…it was my decision.  And I’m not single, my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and going strong.”

But that’s the whole point.  In this day and age, it seems that most people want you to fit nicely in a category.  If you don’t…confusion inevitably follows.  I get questions all the time about my life, from people who are hoping to understand what it’s like to live outside a category. 

When are you guys getting married?  Answer:  I don’t know. 

Does it bother you being divorced?  Answer:  No, as a matter of fact…it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

So are you just really focused on your career right now?  Answer:  Not really.  I’m good at my job.  What’s there to focus on past 4:30 every day?

Why do you volunteer to work with children when you don’t have your own?  Answer:  Because someone has to do it and I don’t see you signing up.

What’s it like seeing everyone around get married and have babies?  Answer:  I’m happy for them.  But sometimes, sometimes…it’s lonely watching everyone around you moving forward at a fast pace when you don’t even know which direction you’re going to take right now.

Not quite the 12 days of Christmas…but here’s what the month of December has dished out to me.   In order…… 

• Treated by a Doctor for stress…then got caught in a major traffic jam leaving the Doctor’s office and was stressed even more by being late for work
• Worked 8 days straight, then spent my one day off doing volunteer work.  That has to be good for karma, no?
• Attended a two-hour meeting in a room that contained fumes (that I wasn’t aware of)…then had an asthma attack
• Volunteered to help supervise a Christmas party for 50 children under the age of 10.  Yeah, I’m that crazy.
• Learned that Jeremy likes to torture me while I’m sick with disgusting medicine.  Can somebody please tell the boy that most drug companies make pill versions of the same medicine?!
• Missed 3 days of work from a head cold/sinus infection
• Cancelled a Doctor’s appointment because I was too sick to go.  I know, I know—doesn’t make much sense.  What can I say…I was heavily medicated at the time and it made sense to me.
• Got snowed in on the first day I actually felt like going to work after being sick
• Face-planted on my icy driveway.  The only casualties were my pride and my digital camera.
• Almost fought with a man in Wal-Mart who was yelling relentlessly at his very scared child.  I opted to call authorities rather than make an even bigger scene and risk going to jail.
• Observed Drew’s OCD gift wrapping techniques.  Too many years working at Hallmark Drew!
• Conducted what turned out to be the worst interview ever!  The applicant propped his feet up on my desk, then asked me for my cell number afterward!  Needless to say…he won’t be getting a call back.
• Suffered chemical burns on my eyelids from a new “soothing” cream my hairstylist used after waxing my eyebrows.  I’ve gone through an entire bottle of moisturizer in 1 ½ weeks—just on my eyes!
• Caught up with an old friend.
• Had my car broken into and my GPS stolen while catching up with an old friend.
•  Ignored the concerned barks and growls of my chocolate lab, Molly, while my car was being broken into and my GPS stolen.  I know, I know—what good does a dog do if you don’t listen to it?  But, in all fairness, she barks at EVERYTHING!!!  Rain, squirrels, wind, leaves, neighbors, birds…you name it, she barks at it.  How was I supposed to know that time was the real deal?!  Yeesh!
• Given a crazy look by the police officer when I filed the police report.  To quote, “You mean you didn’t even bother to look when your dog was barking?”  Yes Officer, I realize the error of my ways now!  Thanks!
• Nursed Jeremy through the stomach flu.
• Caught the stomach flu.
• Took a friend to the Doctor for tests, and realized while waiting that I had caught the stomach flu.  Projectile vomiting in the restroom of a Doctor’s office is NOT a pleasant experience!!!
• Tried to be a trooper and shop with above-mentioned friend after projectile vomiting for 20 minutes.  Turns out…the smell of a mall food court does not help when one is already feeling sick.
• Got stuck in the mall parking lot for 3 hours trying to go home (still feeling sick).  Holiday traffic is absolutely ZERO fun!
• Got into an altercation in the mall parking lot that included the passengers of another car and me getting out of our cars and yelling at one another…while still feeling sick.  Have I mentioned that holiday traffic is ZERO fun?  And besides—they started it!  No, really…they did.
• Took off work the entire week of Christmas.  It was a nice, much-needed vacation.
• Braved Wal-Mart holiday madness for one package of almond bark.  And yes, it was worth it.  My peanut butter bon-bons turned out amazing!
• Spent a wonderful Christmas Eve with Jeremy opening our gifts to one another—while enjoying a new pizza place in town J
• Photographed Jeremy giving our pit bull, Zeus, and our chocolate lab, Molly, a mani and pedi with our new PediPaws.  That thing really works, by the way!
• Decided 2 ft., 10 lb. bones were NOT a good gift idea for our dogs.  If they drop them on my unsuspecting foot one more time they’re getting donated to the Animal Shelter.  The bones, not the dogs.  Well……
• Cooked enough food to feed an army.
• Spent Christmas with my dad and Jeremy’s awesome family.
• Watched a full day House marathon.  Though seemingly unproductive, I can now diagnose about 20 different rare diseases.  Should you ever suffer from the symptoms of thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura, gimme a call  
• Watched Marley & Me with J, and cried harder than the group of children setting in front of us did.  The book is better, but the movie is very good.

It’s been a busy month, can’t wait to see what January brings.

It took me a long time to get in the holiday spirit this year.  Mainly just because I’ve been working so much lately.  One of our big fundraisers at work started the weekend after Thanksgiving and didn’t stop until last week.  Doesn’t leave much time for Christmas shopping and decorating.  And by the time I had finally gotten my house completely decorated for Christmas, I came down sick.  Bah Humbug!  Perhaps it’s just karma for almost catching baby Jesus and the Wise Men on fire while decorating…who knows.

But what I do know is that when it sleeted and kept me and Jeremy home for two days last week, snuggled up in our pajamas with hot cocoa, it finally felt like Christmas to me.  So, never one to resist a photo op, I braved my icy driveway (we all know I’m not graceful) to check the mail and take a couple of photos of my neighborhood with ice all over the streets and houses.  What happened next could’ve won me $10,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos.

As I ever-so-carefully walked to the edge of my driveway, camera in hand ready to snap a picture, I unknowingly stepped off the curb with the back of my feet.  Feeling myself start to slip backwards, I tried to balance by lunging forward.  ***NOTE***  Icy surfaces DO NOT work like regular ones…hence…there is no amount of balancing that can be done to prevent a fall once it has already started.  Gravity becomes the enemy in this situation!  So, in short, my efforts to prevent a fall on my tuchus resulted in a direct blow to my face.  Yep!  That’s right!  Rather than falling on my padded bum, I lunged forward and face-planted on the curb, right next to my mailbox. 

The worst part (bet you thought it couldn’t get worse, huh), was that my camera landed face down in the frozen ground.  So while I got a wonderful, Sports Illustrated quality shot of frozen Bermuda grass, my camera wouldn’t come back on for me to get a picture of the rest of the neighborhood.  And Jeremy, who was watching the whole fiasco, couldn’t stop laughing long enough to help me up. 

I think it’s safe to say that Christmas is here.  I have the bruises to prove it.

If you recall, last year’s Christmas season started a little rocky.  Though it ended with a strong finish, I decided it would be best if I did a few things differently this year.  My experience with a live tree last year was enough to remind me this year that I don’t want to try that again!  Live trees seemed so easy when I was a child.  Probably because my dad swept up all of the damn needles.  So sure–no fuss for me.  But last year, it seemed like everyday I was trying to sweep up the pieces of my tree before Zeus (a.k.a diva dog) could eat them.  And let’s talk about dogs meet tree issues.  Molly, my obese chocolate lab, quickly discovered that the tree stand was home to all the water she could drink.  And because the water contained plant food, Molly almost always followed a tree-water binge with vomiting and diarrhea.  Yeah…not a pretty sight!  I spent the majority of last year’s holiday season cleaning up tree needles and dog waste.

So this year, despite a major lack of time, I’m opting to suck it up and put together my artificial tree–which takes 6 hours to assemble and shape, and that’s NOT counting decorating it.  Major pain in the you-know-what, but at the end of the day it actually looks much better than a real one anyway–and best of all, no dog vomit or diarrhea.  Oh, and did I mention that because Molly is so big, she kept knocking the ornaments off the lower 5 branches of the real tree last year everytime she drank from the tree stand?

Well, last night was phase I of Christmas decorating in the house.  I put out all of the indoor decorations, except the tree.  My Christmas village looks marvelous…if I do say so myself.  Jeremy & I have a bet going on when the tree will actually get put up.  I would never admit this to him, but I think he’s actually going to win this one :)  So anyway, all of my decorations are silver and light blue snowmen, most of which are candleholders.  And because I wanted to show Jeremy just how much I had actually accomplished when he got home from work, I lit all the candles in the snowmen so he would get the full affect.  It was beautiful with the candles flickering and the village all lit up.

But halfway through dinner we started to smell something…burning.  After looking around for a minute, Jeremy discovered that one of the snowmen had caught fire, almost catching the snowman next to him on fire–which, in turn, would have caught the next one and the next one on fire, and eventually would have burned down the manger with baby Jesus in it.  I’m not an incredibly religious person…but that has to be some bad karma!  As it turns out, glitter is apparently quite flammable.  Who knew?!  I guess this holiday season isn’t getting off to a much better start than last year’s.  Let’s just hope for a strong finish I suppose.

But I did stay in a Holiday Inn in Gulf Shores.  Okay–the Holiday Inn part is a lie–but I did vacation in Gulf Shores, AL.  I have been noticeably absent for about oh…the last month or so.  I must admit, my time management has been virtually non-existent over the last month.  That, along with some very complicated issues that I’ve been dealing with personally, has kept me from blogging.  But…enough with all of that stuff…on with life as of lately.

My precious laptop has now been in the possession of Geek Squad for 37 days…and counting.  I checked it in for repair and was assured that within two weeks I would have it back.  That was 37 days ago.  As of today, still no laptop…but now I have been assured that I would have it back by Monday.  We’ll see.  Can I just take a moment to profess my undying hatred of Best Buy’s Geek Squad.  Or as I have so lovingly renamed them, the Should-Have-Played-Football-In-High- School-Rather-Than-World-Of-Warcraft-So-I-Could-Have-At-Least-Gotten-Laid-Since-I-Don’t-Know-What-The-Hell-I’m-Doing-Working-On-Computers Squad.  Seriously–what the hell can you possibly do to a computer that it takes 37 plus days?!  I could’ve purchased a new one and received it weeks ago.

Speaking of purchase…I stepped out of character and decided to fore-go Black Friday shopping this year.  Instead, I stayed home in the comfort of heat and my pajamas to watch the Razorbacks play LSU.  I do love football and flannel (and hot cocoa).  And no, I haven’t forgotten that my boys have totally sucked this year.  But call me crazy, I believe we can pull off an upset and beat LSU.  I have faith; granted, it’s often followed by angst after each lost game, but it’s faith nonetheless.  And if there’s one thing being a Razorback fan has taught me…it’s that sometimes your faith is the only thing you can count on week after week.  Besides, if I didn’t watch football, who would tell Jeremy about it so he would have something to talk about with the guys at work?  I mean, God knows he’s not gonna watch it himself.  And after referring to Coach Bobby Petrino as Robby Pachino, I’d much rather clue him in than let him embarrass himself (and me) to his coworkers!  Though it is funny to think of having a Pachino in the coaching staff.  Can you imagine?  Everytime a bad call was made against the Hogs, the ref would have to worry about the coach putting a hit out on him, lol! 

Jeremy and I vacationed in Gulf Shores at the beginning of November.  So pics will follow soon, I promise.  It was absolutely gorgeous and to be honest, I really didn’t want to come home.  But, I have responsibilities that accompany grown-up life, so after J promised we would go back soon, I admitted defeat and got in the car.  Sometimes it sucks being an adult :( 

Just to update–I haven’t slipped into a black hole.  Well, actually, I sort of have…but only because I’ve been really busy lately.  And my laptop is in the hands of Geek Squad–for the second time–in it’s 9 month existence.   So much for the greatness of new technology.  Damn Windows Vista!

It seems like everytime I have the time to post some of the funny, crazy occurrences in my life as of lately, something comes up.  I have a ton of things to update you all on, and most of them, true to form–are insanely ironic or funny, as much of my daily life tends to be.  But today is not the day for those happenings. 

Today, I join the millions around the nation that mourn for the victims of the UCA shootings that occurred last night.  While I may be a hard core U of A Razorback fan…I am UCA Alum.  You won’t see me in the stands supporting the purple bears at a game, nor will you see me at tailgate parties, alumni events, or most other UCA functions.  But I have wept for the victims of this senseless mess and pray for the students who call this campus home.  The shootings took place where I–like thousands of others–walked nearly every day for 4 years going to and from class.  And now, I work for an organization that is housed on that same campus.  Tragedy has happened just outside our back door, and it is terrifying.

Today, classes were cancelled.  The main street that runs directly in front of the campus is eerily quiet.  The lack of traffic has shortened my commute home.  For a University with over 12,000 enrolled…it certainly is calm in the aftermath of the chaos.

Today, I am still not a purple bears fan.  But today, I am just one person amongst thousands who says a prayer and wonders why. 

Well I’ve been back from San Antonio for a week now, and things are just now getting back to normal.  I’ve been so busy that I didn’t even want to think about playing catch up, but here goes.  San Antonio was gorgeous!  I loved the city…but while I was there, I desperately missed Jeremy.  For that reason, I was glad to be home.  And I promise I will post some of the fun stuff…but for now, I give you one of the most surreal moments I have ever experienced.   

In the airport I had a very sobering experience.  As I set there tuned into my Zune and tuned out of the world around me, I saw soldiers and their families begin to pile in the terminal.  I secretly watched as they said goodbye to their families…some possibly for the last time.  I was heartbroken.  Overhearing the conversations around me, I discovered that some were leaving for their second and even third time; others it was their first deployment.  It saddened me to think that for a week I whined about missing Jeremy and my home and my dogs and my friends, but for these young soldiers, a week is not even a drop in the bucket.  Sometimes we can be so selfish.  And it broke my heart that they had to have such intimate moments with their loved ones in an airport terminal, with dozens of people watching.  I watched two husbands, a mother, a sister and a girlfriend nearly collapse as their loved ones boarded the plane.  Because I was the last group to board, I excused myself to the restroom to cry in solitude.  The fact that I was crying for a moment that wasn’t mine felt selfish.  But when people sacrifice so much of themselves for others, they deserve a stranger’s tears.

Though I will never understand the full extent of the pain that those families will go through over the next year or so–I, too watched as someone I loved went off to war.  When he left years and years ago, a piece of my heart boarded that plane with him.  We both knew that was the end of the road for us…but it didn’t make it any easier.  Watching those soldiers in the airport took me back.  I’m thankful that my life is here, in Arkansas, with Jeremy.  And I’m thankful that for reasons beyond our control, this person and I didn’t make it as a couple.  As of today, we are both where we want to be…home with partners we love far more than we did each other.  But sitting in that terminal, getting ready to come home…I can’t help but wonder how it must be for those couples who vow to make it work–despite the distance, the stress and the loneliness.  The ones who swear they will wait and pray every moment that the other is gone…and do.

Yeah, there are definitely times when I–like others–can be so selfish.  But when I got home last week and saw Jeremy waiting for me at the airport…I hugged him a little tighter and kissed him a little longer–because I can, and because so many others can’t do that to their loved ones.